Political Satire based on documented events

By J. H. Irwin
Author | Storyteller | Satirist

A Fact-Based Examination of the Legal, Institutional, Economic, and Diplomatic Fallout Surrounding Donald Trump

In mythology, everything King Midas touched turned to gold. “Sadim,” Midas spelled backward, is a satirical name for a pattern surrounding Donald Trump: political allies have lost careers and law licenses, a vice president faced threats after refusing his demands, national institutions have been thrown into turmoil, relationships with allies have deteriorated, and military decisions have carried consequences far beyond the White House.

This is not simply guilt by association. In the cases that follow, Trump’s involvement was documented and direct. He applied the pressure, promoted the disputed election narrative, changed the leadership, demanded the renaming, ordered the construction, imposed the tariffs, or authorized the military action. Other people remain responsible for their own conduct, but Trump was not standing innocently at the edge of these events.

Loyalty Has Carried a Price

Rudy Giuliani was once celebrated as “America’s Mayor.” After becoming Trump’s personal lawyer and public champion of his efforts to overturn the 2020 election, Giuliani was disbarred in New York and Washington, held liable for defaming two Georgia election workers, and driven into bankruptcy proceedings.

The New York court did not discipline Giuliani for an abstract political disagreement. It found that he made “demonstrably false and misleading statements” while acting as Trump’s lawyer and advancing Trump’s election challenge. A federal jury subsequently awarded Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss $148 million after Giuliani falsely accused them of election fraud. He later reached a confidential settlement that satisfied the judgment, but no settlement can restore the professional standing he surrendered while carrying Trump’s election claims into courtrooms and television studios.

Mike Lindell followed the same election narrative into a different kind of reckoning. The MyPillow founder used his money, company, media platform, and public reputation to promote claims that voting systems had stolen the election from Trump. In 2025, a federal jury found Lindell and his media company liable for defaming former Dominion employee Eric Coomer and awarded $2.3 million in damages.

Mike Pence discovered what can happen when loyalty reaches its limit. Trump repeatedly pressured Pence to interfere with the electoral count, despite Pence’s conclusion that the Constitution gave him no authority to overturn the result. When Pence refused, Trump publicly attacked him while the Capitol was under siege. Rioters chanted threats against Pence and came within approximately 40 feet of him during his evacuation. Pence later said Trump’s words endangered him, his family, and everyone at the Capitol.

Giuliani and Lindell suffered consequences after advancing Trump’s false election narrative. Pence suffered threats and political isolation after refusing Trump’s demand. Their individual circumstances differ, but the pattern is difficult to ignore: loyalty did not protect those who served Trump, and constitutional resistance did not spare the man who finally told him no.

The Kennedy Center Became a Battlefield Over Trump’s Name

The Kennedy Center was created as a living memorial to President John F. Kennedy and as a national home for the performing arts. After Trump replaced board members and the reconstituted board elected him chairman, performers withdrew, productions were canceled, audiences declined, and the institution entered a growing financial crisis.

The conflict became even more explicit when Trump’s board attempted to add his name to the Kennedy memorial. A federal judge ruled that the board could not do so without congressional authorization. After the court blocked the name change for a second time, the board voted to close the principal venue for as long as two years, and Trump said the $257 million renovation would not proceed unless the ruling were overturned.

The turmoil did not begin because artists suddenly lost interest in the Kennedy Center. Numerous performers specifically cited Trump’s takeover, leadership changes, programming direction, or renaming effort when canceling their appearances. What had been a national cultural institution became entangled in one man’s demand to place his name on a memorial dedicated by law to someone else.

The White House Was Physically Remade

Trump initially said his proposed ballroom would not interfere with the existing White House and would respect the historic structure. The East Wing was subsequently demolished in its entirety.

The White House described the project as a necessary space for large state functions and said private donors would finance it. Official records nevertheless confirm that the historic 15,000-square-foot East Wing was removed and replaced by a proposed structure of approximately 90,000 square feet. The reported cost rose from roughly $200 million to approximately $400 million.

This was not a minor renovation or a decorative adjustment. An existing section of the People’s House was torn down to accommodate a project conceived and directed during Trump’s presidency. The administration calls it an improvement for future presidents, but the physical record is unmistakable: the historic East Wing that existed before Trump’s project no longer exists.

Even the Reflecting Pool Could Not Escape the Pattern

The Trump administration fast-tracked a $14.7 million renovation of the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool ahead of the nation’s 250th anniversary celebration. Within weeks, algae appeared and the newly installed liner began blistering and peeling.

Trump repeatedly blamed vandals. Contractor reports and National Park Service documentation instead identified inadequate primer, incompatible materials, and other design and installation failures. The Justice Department dropped its case against a former Olympian accused of damaging the pool after acknowledging evidence that defective contractor work caused the failure. The Interior Department continues to maintain that some vandalism occurred, but the contractor remains responsible for repairing its work.

The pool was not permanently destroyed, but the episode followed a familiar sequence: a highly publicized Trump project was rushed, failed quickly, and produced accusations that conflicted with the government’s own later findings.

Tariffs Reached American Households

Trump has presented tariffs as payments extracted from foreign countries. In practice, tariffs are collected from American importers, and businesses can pass those costs to consumers through higher prices.

Federal Reserve researchers estimated that tariffs implemented through November 2025 raised core goods prices by approximately 3.1 percent and overall core personal-consumption prices by 0.8 percent through February 2026. The administration maintains that its trade policies protect American workers, reduce trade imbalances, and encourage domestic investment. Those objectives do not erase the documented price increases already absorbed by American businesses and households.

Allies Began Looking Elsewhere

Canada remains one of America’s largest trading partners, but its government and businesses have accelerated efforts to reduce their dependence on the United States. Canada and the European Union are now discussing deeper cooperation in manufacturing, technology, energy, defense, critical minerals, artificial intelligence, and economic security.

The damage extends beyond trade statistics. In a 2026 Pew Research Center survey, the percentage of Canadians describing the United States as a reliable partner had fallen from 83 percent in 2022 to 35 percent. Similar declines appeared across several longtime European and Asian allies.

Trade relationships built over generations cannot always be restored by signing another agreement. Once businesses establish new suppliers, governments build new strategic partnerships, and allied populations stop trusting American commitments, some of those changes can become permanent.

The Consequences Reached the Strait of Hormuz

Trump authorized the February 28 military operation against Iran. Iran subsequently imposed an effective blockade of the Strait of Hormuz, and the United States later blockaded Iranian ports.

The International Energy Agency has described the resulting crisis as the largest oil-supply disruption in market history. Oil and fuel prices surged, shipping traffic collapsed, emergency petroleum reserves were released, and seafarers were killed in attacks involving multiple actors. The International Maritime Organization has correctly cautioned that no single party is responsible for every attack or casualty.

Trump did not personally close the strait, and Iran remains responsible for its own military decisions. The chronology nevertheless matters. Trump authorized the operation that began the conflict, and the resulting escalation disrupted a maritime route that had carried approximately one-quarter of the world’s seaborne oil trade.

The Record Is the Record

“The Sadim Touch” is satire, but the events behind it are not. Giuliani lost his law licenses. Lindell was found liable for defamation. Pence faced threats after refusing Trump. The Kennedy Center lost performers and revenue while becoming consumed by a fight over Trump’s name. The East Wing was demolished. The Reflecting Pool renovation failed. Tariffs raised prices. Allied trust declined. A war disrupted one of the world’s most important energy routes.

Trump was not solely responsible for every consequence, and the people around him were not powerless participants. But he was not incidental to these events. He made the demands, promoted the claims, imposed the policies, changed the institutions, and authorized the military action.

That is the documented pattern behind the metaphor. The closer Trump moved to the center of a person, institution, alliance, or project, the more likely it was to become defined by controversy, litigation, financial strain, damaged trust, or lasting consequences.

Where the absurdity of this moment gets the satire it deserves, and all the gold in the world still can’t buy good taste.

Read The Gilded Toilet at Still Human → https://substack.com/@jhirwin

Political Satire based on documented events

By J. H. Irwin
Author | Storyteller | Satirist

The federal government has entered its renovation era

The White House East Wing has been demolished to make room for a $400 million ballroom. The Rose Garden lawn has become a stone patio reminiscent of Mar-a-Lago. Historic trees have disappeared, black granite has replaced a sixty-year-old flagstone walkway, and the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool has been painted blue. The administration calls this restoration. Increasingly, the nation looks like a property acquired by a developer who immediately decided the original owners had terrible taste.

Then there is the Kennedy Center, the national memorial dedicated to President John F. Kennedy. Trump removed its previous leadership, became chairman of its board, and supported adding his own name to the building. A federal judge ruled that only Congress could rename the center and ordered Trump’s name removed. Apparently undeterred, the Trump-appointed board voted to try again, this time proposing an inscription crediting him with restoring and renovating the building and naming the surrounding grounds the “President Donald J. Trump Plaza.” Nothing says respect for a memorial quite like repeatedly explaining why someone else’s name needs more company.

Now comes the proposed triumphal arch, approximately 250 feet of gilded presidential modesty near Arlington National Cemetery. It would stand taller than the Lincoln Memorial and close to the height of the United States Capitol. Opponents, including three Vietnam veterans and an architectural historian, argue that it would disrupt the historic sightline between the Lincoln Memorial and Arlington House. The project still lacks final approval, and a federal judge has limited initial activity to archaeological testing. Even the ground, it seems, must be questioned before it agrees to participate.

The administration says these projects will restore grandeur, improve deteriorating landmarks, and honor the nation’s history. Perhaps that is the plan. But grandeur is a curious national priority when so many Americans are worried about whether they can afford a doctor, keep their insurance, pay their bills, or safely exercise their constitutional rights. A government can polish every monument in Washington and still leave the people looking at them wondering whether anyone inside those buildings remembers they exist.

Medicaid and Affordable Care Act enrollment has declined by approximately eight million people since Trump returned to office. The reasons are complicated and include expiring marketplace subsidies, higher premiums, administrative changes, immigration fears, and state-level decisions. Major provisions of Trump-backed healthcare legislation are expected to produce additional coverage losses as they take effect. These Americans may never attend a White House ball, but they are helping finance a government that has found extraordinary energy for choosing marble.

The childhood vaccination schedule has also been reduced. Vaccines protecting against several diseases are no longer recommended routinely for every child, although they remain available for certain high-risk groups or through consultations between parents and physicians. Leading medical organizations have warned that the changes could weaken protection against preventable disease. The reflecting pool may now be a more vibrant shade of blue, but a child’s immune system remains stubbornly resistant to architectural solutions.

Meanwhile, the administration’s immigration campaign has brought mass arrests, prolonged detention, renewed family separations, and fatal encounters between federal agents and civilians. Two American citizens, Renee Good and Alex Pretti, were shot and killed by federal immigration agents during operations in Minneapolis. Those cases remain under scrutiny, and another ICE officer has been charged with lying to investigators about a separate shooting. These are not abstractions. They are families, names, funerals, and empty chairs.

Then there is Iran. Eighteen American service members have been killed, and the conflict has cost taxpayers more than $37.5 billion. Trump recently called it “small potatoes,” explaining that the number of American deaths was low compared with Vietnam and other wars. The comparison may be numerically accurate, but every military family understands something that casualty tables do not: there is no such thing as a statistically insignificant empty seat at the dinner table.

The damage is not confined within America’s borders. Relationships with some of our closest allies and trading partners have deteriorated sharply. The United States imposed tariffs of up to 50 percent on Canadian products after negotiations collapsed, prompting Canada to retaliate against approximately $20 billion in American goods. Canada remains our neighbor, ally, and one of our largest trading partners, but the relationship now increasingly resembles a homeowners’ dispute conducted with customs declarations and economic artillery.

The fracture extends across the Atlantic. Trump has threatened to consider withdrawing the United States from NATO and has publicly attacked European leaders over trade, defense spending, and their refusal to support the Iran conflict. In a recent survey across fifteen European countries, only 11 percent of respondents described the United States as an ally. A nation can repaint a reflecting pool in two weeks. Rebuilding international trust is unlikely to be completed with a fresh coat of anything.

Whether these relationships have been permanently destroyed cannot yet be known. Alliances developed across generations rarely disappear overnight, but trust can. Even if future administrations attempt to repair the damage, allies and trading partners may remember how quickly agreements, traditions, and mutual commitments were discarded. They may cooperate with America again while quietly preparing for the possibility that America can no longer be depended upon.

That is the contradiction at the center of this architectural presidency. Human suffering is discussed in totals, percentages, projections, and historical comparisons. Buildings receive gold, marble, inscriptions, ceremonies, models, and presidential attention. Eighteen dead service members become “small potatoes,” while a 250-foot arch becomes a national priority. Our allies are told to accept threats and tariffs, while the president builds monuments intended to proclaim American greatness.

Rome built arches, monuments, temples, and arenas even as the foundations of its empire weakened beneath them. That comparison does not prove that the United States is approaching a similar end. It does, however, leave us with an uncomfortable question: Are these merely the excesses of one presidency, or are we watching the beginning of America’s decline as a trusted democratic leader?

Only time will provide the final answer, but Americans will influence the next chapter on November 3. Every seat in the House of Representatives and thirty-five seats in the Senate will be contested in the 2026 midterm elections. The results will determine control of Congress and shape its ability to fund, investigate, restrain, or advance the president’s agenda.

Perhaps the proposed arch is the perfect monument for this moment after all. An arch is not a destination. It is an enormous structure built around an empty space. America does not need another monument proclaiming greatness. It needs citizens willing to decide what greatness means, leaders prepared to defend it, and institutions strong enough to survive those who mistake their own reflection for the nation itself.

Where the absurdity of this moment gets the satire it deserves, and all the gold in the world still can’t buy good taste.

Read The Gilded Toilet at Still Human → https://substack.com/@jhirwin

Political Satire based on documented events

By J. H. Irwin
Author | Storyteller | Satirist

Donald Trump has escalated his trade war with Canada by doing what every sober statesman does when negotiations get difficult: renaming a lake. On Thursday, he signed an executive order declaring that, for U.S. federal use, Lake Ontario would become “Lake America,” then announced the change as effective immediately. The order itself, apparently less impulsive than its author, gives the interior secretary 30 days to coordinate with the Board on Geographic Names and update federal references. Nothing says decisive leadership quite like shouting “effective immediately” at a body of water while giving the paperwork a month to catch up.

There is, however, one delicious geographic complication. The Welland Canal, the 43.5-kilometer, eight-lock passage that allows ships to bypass Niagara Falls between Lake Erie and the newly christened “Lake America,” lies entirely within Ontario. Canadians on social media have been pointing this out with understandable amusement, although the Carney government has not threatened to close the canal or turn it into a weapon. Still, there is something magnificently Trumpian about insulting Canada, insisting it wants the benefits of being an American state without actually being one, and then discovering that ships moving between the upper Great Lakes and his newly Americanized lake depend upon Canadian infrastructure.

Canadian friends call it “Hormuz 2.0,” a beautifully dark joke that works precisely because it is not an actual policy proposal. The Boundary Waters Treaty of 1909 guarantees both countries equal, free navigation through the boundary waters and the canals connecting them, so Canada could not lawfully close the Welland Canal as trade retaliation without violating the treaty and harming its own shipping and Seaway revenue. The punch line is not that Ottawa should padlock the canal. It is that Trump picked a needless fight with a trusted ally while relying upon that ally’s continued cooperation to keep shared trade moving.

Trump says Canada wants the benefits of being treated like a state without being one. Yet he wants to treat a sovereign country like a disobedient province, treat a shared lake like American property, and still receive every benefit of a trusted neighbor. Those of us who love our Canadian friends can only watch this spectacle with sorrow, embarrassment, and an increasingly necessary sense of humor, hoping the relationship can one day be rebuilt on mutual respect. Until then, Trump can order “Lake America” onto every federal map he controls, but he still cannot executive-order Ontario out of the route.

Where the absurdity of this moment gets the satire it deserves, and all the gold in the world still can’t buy good taste.

Read The Gilded Toilet at Still Human → https://substack.com/@jhirwin

Political Satire based on documented events

By J. H. Irwin
Author | Storyteller | Satirist

President Donald Trump escalated his trade war with Canada on Monday, announcing that tariffs on Canadian automobiles, trucks, auto parts, and steel will rise to 50 percent on January 1, 2027. This came just days after separate 50 percent tariffs took effect on roughly $20 billion in Canadian goods, including wine, cheese, honey, hockey sticks, electronics, candles, and cement. Apparently, the plan for making America affordable now includes charging Americans substantially more for everything required to build a house, drive to work, enjoy dinner, or play hockey in the driveway. Reuters reported that shares of several major automakers fell following the announcement, which is how Wall Street traditionally applauds brilliant economic strategy.

Trump says Canada has been taking advantage of the United States and has encouraged Canadian manufacturers to move their operations south to avoid the tariffs. This is a wonderfully simple approach to international commerce: threaten a sovereign country, damage its industries, disrupt your own supply chains, and then invite its businesses over as though nothing awkward has happened. It is less a trade policy than a protection racket conducted beneath a banner reading “Friendship Through Financial Coercion.”

The automotive industry presents one small inconvenience for this master plan. American and Canadian manufacturing is so thoroughly integrated that vehicle components can cross the border several times before a finished car reaches a dealership. A tariff applied each time something crosses that border does not punish Canada in splendid isolation. It raises costs for American manufacturers and consumers too. Fortunately, the administration appears to have discovered a revolutionary economic principle: if Americans pay the tariff, but the president says Canada is paying it loudly enough, perhaps the cash register will become confused.

Canada is preparing dollar-for-dollar retaliatory tariffs on American products beginning September 8, while Prime Minister Mark Carney says his country will not accept an agreement that compromises Canadian sovereignty. Thus, two nations that share a continent, a deeply integrated economy, the world’s longest international border, and generations of friendship are preparing to make one another’s goods more expensive. Somewhere, China is watching quietly, Europe is updating its trade contacts, and America’s consumers are being assured that the rapidly approaching bill is actually a tremendous victory.

Where the absurdity of this moment gets the satire it deserves, and all the gold in the world still can’t buy good taste.

Read The Gilded Toilet at Still Human → https://substack.com/@jhirwin

Political Satire based on documented events

By J. H. Irwin
Author | Storyteller | Satirist

Welcome aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln, where approximately 5,000 sailors and Marines have enjoyed an extended all-inclusive cruise featuring breathtaking ocean views, occasional shortages of fresh food and basic supplies, plumbing adventures, disrupted mail service, combat operations, and the exciting possibility that nobody will tell you when you are coming home.

The Lincoln left San Diego last November. It was supposed to be a Pacific deployment. Then war intervened, the carrier was redirected to the Middle East, and by August its crew had spent more than 260 days at sea. According to U.S. Central Command, the strike group has conducted roughly 10,000 aircraft flights and expended 1.5 million pounds of ordnance. Sailors supported 40 days of continuous combat operations.

That is an extraordinary military accomplishment.

It is also an extraordinary thing to ask human beings to endure.

Fortunately, Washington has developed an innovative response to concerns about exhaustion, deteriorating morale and mental health.

Everything is fine.

The Freshies Have Abandoned Ship

One of the more strangely human details of this story involves something sailors call the “freshies.”

Fresh fruit. Fresh vegetables. Those extravagant delicacies commonly available at such exotic locations as Publix.

Because the war disrupted the Navy’s normal regional supply system, the Lincoln experienced periods when fresh produce disappeared. Sailors and families also reported food and water shortages, hygiene supply problems, laundry disruptions and mail delays. A brief Oman resupply stop in July finally brought fresh fruits and vegetables aboard after sailors said they had gone months without them. The Navy says many of those logistical problems have since been resolved.

Mission-critical supplies had to be prioritized.

Food first.

Hygiene supplies second.

Mail later.

Which makes sense.

Bombs before birthday cards.

Aircraft parts before Aunt Linda’s cookies.

Apparently the United States can move a multimillion-dollar missile halfway around the world with breathtaking precision, but getting a sailor an orange remains one of the more challenging aspects of modern warfare.

And yet the crew continued working.

Ten thousand flights.

Forty days of continuous combat.

One and a half million pounds of ordnance.

We know exactly how much weaponry left the ship.

What remains considerably harder to measure is what the deployment has taken out of the people launching it.

The Part That Isn’t Funny

Families and sailors have described exhaustion and declining morale. Stars and Stripes reported accounts of suicidal thoughts, including an incident in which sailors said a crew member was stopped from jumping overboard. The Navy confirmed that another sailor went overboard in early August, was quickly recovered and later transferred for additional care, although officials did not characterize the incident as a suicide attempt.

One parent described watching their sailor slowly lose hope.

That is where the satire stops being particularly funny.

The Navy disputes the suggestion that the Lincoln is experiencing a widespread mental health crisis. Officials say they have not observed an increase in suicidal ideation or attempts and point to the mental health professionals, medical personnel and chaplains available aboard the carrier. Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth said reports about conditions were “completely misrepresented” and insisted that ships are given everything the military can provide.

Those facts deserve to be included.

So does another one.

A ship can remain combat effective while the people aboard it are exhausted.

The crew can perform magnificently while individual sailors struggle.

Both statements can be true at the same time.

Nuance has not yet been banned by executive order.

Then Came Four Words

On August 14, Donald Trump was standing at Joint Base Andrews when a reporter raised the concerns of military families and asked whether the Lincoln’s deployment had gone on too long.

Trump first rejected the premise that families were concerned.

“No, they’re not.”

Then came the question about whether the deployment had lasted too long and whether he was worried about mental health concerns.

Trump responded:

“No, no, no. Not nearly long enough.”

Then he left to board Air Force One.

There are moments when satire requires imagination.

This is not one of them.

For sailors aboard the Abraham Lincoln, more than eight months away from home meant missed birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, family emergencies, long workdays, combat operations and endless stretches of ocean.

For the Commander in Chief standing beside his private presidential aircraft, it became four words.

Not nearly long enough.

There may be no better illustration of the distance between the flight deck and the podium.

One group gets on an aircraft carrier and wonders when it will see home again.

The other gets on Air Force One and is home for dinner.

And How Much Will That Be?

While the sailors were counting days, Washington was counting dollars.

The first six days of the Iran war cost an estimated $11.3 billion, according to figures provided by the Defense Department to Congress. The Center for Strategic and International Studies estimated the bill had reached roughly $16.5 billion by Day 12 and warned that the heavy use of munitions could create risks elsewhere, particularly in the western Pacific and Ukraine.

By May, the Pentagon was publicly citing $29 billion.

Harvard budget expert Linda Bilmes argues that figure dramatically understates the eventual expense because the government often values missiles at what they originally cost rather than what replacing them will cost now. She estimated upfront spending could reach roughly $200 billion. The Pentagon later sought another $80 billion connected to the conflict.

But don’t worry.

America has another highly sophisticated war-financing mechanism.

Your wallet.

Higher energy costs have rippled through gasoline prices, transportation and other household expenses. One economist estimated the typical American household could ultimately pay about $1,000 because of the conflict.

Consider it your patriotic participation fee.

Souvenir T-shirt not included.

Because Apparently One Strait Wasn’t Enough

The war began February 28 with massive U.S. and Israeli attacks on Iran that killed Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei and other senior officials. Iran responded in part by effectively shutting down normal traffic through the Strait of Hormuz, one of the most important energy corridors on Earth. Before the war, roughly one-fifth of global oil and LNG shipments moved through it.

By August, shipping had collapsed from more than 130 daily transits before the conflict to single digits on some days.

Then the Houthis declared a blockade affecting Bab el-Mandeb, another crucial shipping route, and attacked Saudi-linked vessels.

Because when you have one global energy chokepoint crisis, the obvious solution is apparently to collect the whole set.

Oil surged. Gasoline followed. Shipping became more dangerous and expensive. Iranian and American officials continued exchanging demands while global markets attempted to determine which strategically vital waterway might become unusable next.

Geopolitical Whac-A-Mole, now available in the Persian Gulf edition.

Good News, Someone Found Another Aircraft Carrier

There is finally some good news for the crew of the Abraham Lincoln.

The USS George Washington has now arrived in the Middle East to relieve it. The Lincoln can begin the long journey back toward San Diego and the families who have been waiting for most of a year.

There is, naturally, a small catch.

The George Washington was America’s forward-deployed carrier in Asia.

So while solving one overstretched-carrier problem, the United States has temporarily reduced its carrier presence in the Pacific.

Military strategists undoubtedly have a sophisticated term for this.

Here at The Gilded Toilet, we call it moving the lawn furniture around while the house is on fire.

Eventually the Lincoln will return home. Sailors will walk down the gangway. Families will hug people they have spent months worrying about. There will be speeches about courage, endurance, patriotism and sacrifice.

Those sailors will deserve every word.

But there is another phrase worth remembering.

Not nearly long enough.

Not because it was true.

Because four words spoken beside Air Force One revealed something 1.5 million pounds of ordnance cannot measure: the enormous distance that can exist between those who decide how long a war continues and those who are asked to live inside it.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is precisely why we have The Gilded Toilet.

Sometimes the gold is merely tacky.

Sometimes what it reflects is far more serious.

Where the absurdity of this moment gets the satire it deserves, and all the gold in the world still can’t buy good taste.

Read The Gilded Toilet at Still Human → https://substack.com/@jhirwin